Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
