he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize