It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
