I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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