I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
