To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
