Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
