in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
