and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
