You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize