nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
