Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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