She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
