White coat. Heels.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
