he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i think i just lost a toe
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Pooping to opera.
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