the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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