wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize