She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
