I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
