Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
