I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
