So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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