I don't remember. Are we still dating?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
