we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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