I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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