We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
