Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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