in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
