id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
