I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
