the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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