So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
