Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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