I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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