I skipped work to stalk him.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
