i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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