The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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