The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
