I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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