Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
