i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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