Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
its not stalking. its research.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
