Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
