Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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