He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
