But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
either way he was missing a nipple.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
