He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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