My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
a search helicopter?!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
