i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
