This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
