The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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