some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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