I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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