every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
