She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
