Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
the liver wants what the liver wants
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
