do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
