evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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