it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
