So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
