Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
