you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
